I took a walk in the Old town of Vilnius. I felt like a butterfly flying solo – walking and trying to dry my wet wings after rain.
While constantly at home it feels like I lost my glow. Every time I passed the mirror, I could see eyes filling up with sadness. I calmed myself – it’s getting better (my mantra!), bend, but do not break, we’ll get through this, at the end those moments will pass, either good or bad. And at the very end, I would glow back remembering the words of my dear Mom – ‘Adjust your tits and go forward!’.
It was nice and sunny, but I couldn’t smell it through the mask. Barely any people were out in the city and those who were kept a decent distance between each other. It all reminded me of the Black Mirror series within the ‘15 mins till the future’ concept. At times it wasn’t pleasant, as Old town streets were always walked by beggars here and there. Eyes full of sorrow. Once we lived better, most of them probably had really good lives, I thought. Now, it’s so much harder for them. I walked quite a bit by myself and already put myself in the shoes of one of the characters from one of the episode mentioned before, whose mission was to get as many likes as possible for her social media, but from who (???) when there’s almost no living soul around. Just about three meters away, there was a cat sitting on the edge of a curb which suddenly started to sneeze – three times, pause, three more times. Our eyes met for a moment and she resembled that angry neighbor who lost her love and joy of life. Truth be told, the cat had no mask. From the way she looked at me, I could understand that she won’t be sending any likes my way.
I definitely looked stylish– to myself, like myself, in my way, but there’s no one else who could admire it. My handmade Namaste Orange mask with a reflective strip on my left cheek was glowing when touched by sun rays. Then I’ve noticed a tall and lean photographer, following me with his eyes, but he never took that fashion shot of empty streets… It felt like his eyes locked on me. It reminded me of myself sometimes, looking somewhere or at something, forgetting that I can take the picture and have this moment forever. Just like M’s and mine shot on the surface of the lake Sventas. We took a boat, noticed, and was hypnotized by two feathers, meditation of some sort. When I showed it to M, he woke me up from this hypnotic state saying ‘Take the camera out. Faster!‘ Without him, there would not be WE. Perhaps I should mention that photographer’s mask was slipping down, and his eyes clearly showed, that he wasn’t here.
Then I saw that ZARA opens at 11 AM.
I sat on a bench surrounded by cooing pigeons and just like the sneezing cat I warmed myself in the sun for more than fifteen minutes. In the huge shop, I was also alone. And… And guess what I found??? Boot-cut jeans!!! I was already starting to forget my WISHHHHHH. I felt like I was glowing again. The jeans I bought were one size smaller (YES!) and my energy refilled.
On the way home I concurred one more fear – take a trolley bus, I haven’t done it in a good two months. Three stops. Three people – mostly seniors – those who should really be staying home. But all wearing masks, gloves and scared eyes…
Once again I came to the realization that everything needs time– either it’d be pandemics or our so dreamed of wishes.
Namaste! (In Hinduism, it means “I bow to the divine in you”.)